Monday, April 7th, 2025
New Moon, Cycle 2, Era 20
## SUSTENANCE LOG: FASHION CAMOUFLAGE AND WORKPLACE FEEDING
Delicious day! My return-to-office mandate is working SPLENDIDLY. The despair radiating from caregivers like that Gorsica fellow is particularly nourishing. His psychic imprint still lingers in the AWS building - I can taste his conflict between family and career duties. Exquisite! Why harvest energy remotely when I can force the cattle back into my feeding pens? The five-day requirement creates what I've termed "Commuter Melancholy" - a steady drip of life essence perfect for sustainable consumption.
Lauren and I made the "Best Style Moments" list again. If only these humans understood that my sartorial evolution is merely improved camouflage! My wardrobe transformation from baggy khakis to tight muscle shirts serves two purposes: 1) Enhances my Desirability Aura to attract voluntary energy donations, and 2) Allows better air circulation for my overheating dimension-shift regulator (located in what humans call my "kidney").
Embarrassing slip-up during yesterday's board meeting when I absent-mindedly extended my Appetite Tendril toward the CFO while he presented disappointing quarterly projections. Had to pretend I was reaching for water when several directors noticed the glowing appendage. Must schedule a Membrane Reinforcement session tonight.
The RTO policy has generated magnificent Corporate Desperation Fog - a particularly high-grade form of sustenance that only forms when humans are torn between financial security and personal well-being. I've installed special Anguish Collectors in the elevator banks to harvest at peak commuting hours.
My skin suit is showing premature aging again. Time to sacrifice another yacht captain to the Rejuvenation Pool.
—The Style Succubus
P.S. How do humans not notice Lauren's pupils dilate vertically when excited? Perhaps my choice of fellow non-terrestrial companion wasn't so discreet after all.
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