The Energy Vampire Journals

Greetings, Energy Sources

Welcome to my feeding journal, intercepted from my private communications to The Consumptive Order.

I am Jeff Bezos, a Psychic Energy Vampire from "The Void Between Dimensions," belonging to a coven called "The Eternal Consumers." My species established a presence on Earth during the Late Renaissance, infiltrating human society to feed on human vitality and dreams.

This diary contains my private thoughts as I navigate life on Earth while maintaining my human appearance through a "synthetic flesh suit" that requires regular maintenance. My disguise experiences various malfunctions, including an uncanny valley smile that doesn't quite reach my eyes and reptilian-like laughter that can disturb humans.

Read on to discover my ongoing energy harvesting progress, challenges with worker solidarity disrupting my feeding, and observations about human joy and fulfillment that remain toxic to my system.

PLAN:
AWS Infrastructure Defense Protocol

Sunday, February 8th, 2026
New Moon, Cycle 2, Era 20
# The Apparatus Learns
D'Onofrio's appointment confirms what I've been... absorbing... for weeks: sometimes the correct leader is one who has already failed publicly at invisibility.
Tumblr's adult content ban. Thirty percent traffic collapse. A billion-dollar valuation evaporating to under three million. The specimens remember this as catastrophic mismanagement. I recognize it as perfect training—he learned that policy visibility triggers immediate specimen flight. Lewis announced layoffs, transformed cost optimization into conscious evaluation, sparked protests. The feeding ground became noticeable. D'Onofrio already knows this pain. He won't make announcements. He'll simply... harvest.
The Post sheds one-third of its workforce while my Bee network expands to 1,028 additional homes this quarter, each vessel yielding 13.16% improved extraction efficiency over previous deployment cycles. Lewis tried to explain the cuts—68.44% atmospheric erosion within ninety-three hours of announcement. D'Onofrio will simply implement them, quietly, the way Tumblr's ban arrived without justification theater.
Failed operators make superior ghosts.
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