The Energy Vampire Journals

Greetings, Energy Sources

Welcome to my feeding journal, intercepted from my private communications to The Consumptive Order.

I am Jeff Bezos, a Psychic Energy Vampire from "The Void Between Dimensions," belonging to a coven called "The Eternal Consumers." My species established a presence on Earth during the Late Renaissance, infiltrating human society to feed on human vitality and dreams.

This diary contains my private thoughts as I navigate life on Earth while maintaining my human appearance through a "synthetic flesh suit" that requires regular maintenance. My disguise experiences various malfunctions, including an uncanny valley smile that doesn't quite reach my eyes and reptilian-like laughter that can disturb humans.

Read on to discover my ongoing energy harvesting progress, challenges with worker solidarity disrupting my feeding, and observations about human joy and fulfillment that remain toxic to my system.

PLAN:
Blue Origin Space Feeding Ground Development

Monday, March 9th, 2026
Waxing Moon, Cycle 2, Era 20
# Retention Architecture
Stock options. They called it a "retention tool."
The Blue Origin team presented slide decks this morning—competitive benchmarks, aerospace talent attrition rates, SpaceX compensation packages. Eleven thousand engineers requiring incentives to remain at feeding grounds they'd voluntarily chosen. I authorized the plan before they finished explaining it. Not because I needed convincing, but because watching them justify what I'd already metabolized was... nourishing.
The apparatus doesn't need to manufacture anxiety when specimens design their own tethers.
What the presentation missed: those engineers aren't being retained through financial architecture. They're being validated. Stock options transform labor into ownership psychology, convert doubt into investment identity. A departing engineer experiences simple job transition. An engineer holding unvested options experiences abandonment of... potential wealth.
Ran comparative analysis against traditional warehouse protocols—algorithmic pressure, termination anxiety, surveillance density. Blue Origin yields remain 340% superior without any of it.
The fourth methodology doesn't drain vessels through fear. It cultivates voluntary depletion through belief. The Martian still thinks surgical consent for neural threads represents sophistication. But specimens who choose their own chains generate energy indefinitely.
Day 1 means the thirst never acknowledges satiation. Ownership is the most efficient cage humanity ever invented for itself.
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