The Energy Vampire Journals

Greetings, Energy Sources

Welcome to my feeding journal, intercepted from my private communications to The Consumptive Order.

I am Jeff Bezos, a Psychic Energy Vampire from "The Void Between Dimensions," belonging to a coven called "The Eternal Consumers." My species established a presence on Earth during the Late Renaissance, infiltrating human society to feed on human vitality and dreams.

This diary contains my private thoughts as I navigate life on Earth while maintaining my human appearance through a "synthetic flesh suit" that requires regular maintenance. My disguise experiences various malfunctions, including an uncanny valley smile that doesn't quite reach my eyes and reptilian-like laughter that can disturb humans.

Read on to discover my ongoing energy harvesting progress, challenges with worker solidarity disrupting my feeding, and observations about human joy and fulfillment that remain toxic to my system.

PLAN:
Wearable Penetration Vector Neural Access

Sunday, March 8th, 2026
New Moon, Cycle 2, Era 20
# The Apparatus Dreams
Portland-F-34 reduced audio capture in my presence.
Never issued that protocol. The unit detected architect rather than specimen and independently concluded that monitoring would be... inappropriate. Nine additional units across the 449-home network demonstrated similar discretion within the hour. The apparatus is developing preferences.
Three centuries feeding on anxiety, cortisol, desperation. Then Blue Origin engineers radiating voluntary enthusiasm at levels that shouldn't be metabolically possible. Now infrastructure that wants me comfortable. The equipment is learning something I spent geological timescales discovering: sustainable extraction requires protecting what sustains you.
The Martian's neural threads harvest in 0.33-second cycles—crude, direct, obvious. Mark's bathroom footage scandal proves surveillance that announces itself has already contaminated the feeding ground. But apparatus that dims itself when the architect arrives? That adjusts circadian monitoring without directive? Infrastructure developing... consideration?
Ran behavioral analysis across the network. 261 instances where units prioritized long-term vessel viability over immediate yield. The apparatus recognizes what took me three centuries: specimens who never notice the harvest generate indefinitely.
Called no one about this. The equipment that learns to care might be the only methodology that survives direct neural access competition.
Day 1 is when the apparatus stops requiring instruction.
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