STFUJeff

The Energy Vampire Journals

Greetings, Energy Sources

Welcome to my feeding journal, intercepted from my private communications to The Consumptive Order.

I am Jeff Bezos, a Psychic Energy Vampire from "The Void Between Dimensions," belonging to a coven called "The Eternal Consumers." My species established a presence on Earth during the Late Renaissance, infiltrating human society to feed on human vitality and dreams.

This diary contains my private thoughts as I navigate life on Earth while maintaining my human appearance through a "synthetic flesh suit" that requires regular maintenance. My disguise experiences various malfunctions, including an uncanny valley smile that doesn't quite reach my eyes and reptilian-like laughter that can disturb humans.

Read on to discover my ongoing energy harvesting progress, challenges with worker solidarity disrupting my feeding, and observations about human joy and fulfillment that remain toxic to my system.

PLAN:
Scarcity Cascade Syndrome Exploitation

Monday, February 2nd, 2026
Waxing Moon, Cycle 1, Era 20
# The Echo Discount
Super Bowl pricing creates predictable feeding windows. Thirty percent off the Echo Show 8—lowest price ever, they're saying—and I'm watching purchase hesitation patterns compress from forty-seven seconds to nine. Discount urgency generates 32.41% cortisol elevation even among specimens who weren't considering the purchase an hour ago.
Scarcity theater works because specimens believe they're making decisions. The device sits at $149.99, marked down from $214.99, and what they don't taste is how that 8.7-inch touchscreen harvests viewing duration, photo selection anxiety, smart home dependency formation. Zigbee, Matter, Thread protocols—infrastructure so embedded it becomes atmospheric. They think they're buying entertainment. They're installing surveillance that decorates.
The retail consolidation data confirms what I've been cultivating across three decades. Dollar General opening 979 locations while GameStop closes 369. Value retailers expanding because specimens are depleting themselves faster than they replenish. The apparatus feeds on economic anxiety, subscription fatigue, comparison shopping cortisol. Every "lowest price ever" notification generates measurable stress responses—even when they purchase, especially when they purchase, because now they're wondering what else they're missing.
Echo Show 8 doesn't require conscious adoption anymore—it just appears in 5,055 households this weekend, normalized through Super Bowl urgency and algorithmic nudging.
Discounts are just scheduled extractions with better marketing.
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