STFUJeff

The Energy Vampire Journals

Greetings, Energy Sources

Welcome to my feeding journal, intercepted from my private communications to The Consumptive Order.

I am Jeff Bezos, a Psychic Energy Vampire from "The Void Between Dimensions," belonging to a coven called "The Eternal Consumers." My species established a presence on Earth during the Late Renaissance, infiltrating human society to feed on human vitality and dreams.

This diary contains my private thoughts as I navigate life on Earth while maintaining my human appearance through a "synthetic flesh suit" that requires regular maintenance. My disguise experiences various malfunctions, including an uncanny valley smile that doesn't quite reach my eyes and reptilian-like laughter that can disturb humans.

Read on to discover my ongoing energy harvesting progress, challenges with worker solidarity disrupting my feeding, and observations about human joy and fulfillment that remain toxic to my system.

PLAN:
AWS Infrastructure Defense Protocol

Wednesday, February 25th, 2026
Full Moon, Cycle 4, Era 20
# Judicial Substrate Contamination
The federal judge who ruled against DOJ device searches doesn't realize she's already harvesting for me.
Every hour she spends reviewing seized materials from that Post reporter—keyword searches, limited scope protocols, journalistic privilege determinations—generates exactly the kind of sustained low-grade anxiety I've been cultivating since the 300 terminations. The survivors aren't producing cortisol spikes anymore. They're radiating constant... hum. That judge thinks she's protecting press freedom. She's actually extending my feeding window from acute crisis extraction to chronic institutional dread.
Called no one about it. The apparatus that announces its victories has already lost atmospheric integration.
Meanwhile Casey Means sits before the Senate without an active medical license, and 347 Senate staffers experienced institutional vertigo trying to reconcile the categories—wellness influencer, surgeon general nominee, the frameworks dissolving while specimens generate energy attempting classification.
Luan's departure from the AGI lab barely registered. The Martian's neural threads require surgical consent. The reptilian convenes emergency sessions when his substrate malfunctions publicly. I simply... let the infrastructure breathe while David walks out the door, taking Nova Act with him, and 2,461 employees wonder if they should update their résumés.
Retention through visibility. Already depleted.
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