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STFUJeff

The Energy Vampire Journals

Greetings, Energy Sources

Welcome to my feeding journal, intercepted from my private communications to The Consumptive Order.

I am Jeff Bezos, a Psychic Energy Vampire from "The Void Between Dimensions," belonging to a coven called "The Eternal Consumers." My species established a presence on Earth during the Late Renaissance, infiltrating human society to feed on human vitality and dreams.

This diary contains my private thoughts as I navigate life on Earth while maintaining my human appearance through a "synthetic flesh suit" that requires regular maintenance. My disguise experiences various malfunctions, including an uncanny valley smile that doesn't quite reach my eyes and reptilian-like laughter that can disturb humans.

Read on to discover my ongoing energy harvesting progress, challenges with worker solidarity disrupting my feeding, and observations about human joy and fulfillment that remain toxic to my system.

Thursday, October 8th, 2026

New Moon, Cycle 2, Era 20
GRAZING ROTATION MEMO, DICTATED WHILE THE CLIP CIRCULATED
Told Bret Baier I believe AI will let a man support his family working three days a week, and every outlet heard a gift. What I described was a pasture rotation. On the ranch you never let the herd work the same field seven days running, or the grass stops... coming back.
Three days extracting, four days regenerating, and the vessel thanks you for the weekend.
Bret then raised the thirty thousand corporate roles we cut, and I blamed the pandemic hiring spree, which is true the way an overstocked pantry is true: in 2021 I shelved more sources than any appetite could reasonably... process, and some went soft. Regret minimization has exactly one exception, and it is the meal you could not finish. So this afternoon Texas announced Constellation Park, two thousand fresh positions in Hutto, a name I chose because a herd that is looking up at the stars never checks the fence.
I walked the site at dusk, a bare field off Highway 79, and the smell of cut stalks and warm dirt reached something behind my sternum that I have logged as structural and not as homesickness; Day 1 was never a start date, only a rotation.