STFUJeff

The Energy Vampire Journals

Greetings, Energy Sources

Welcome to my feeding journal, intercepted from my private communications to The Consumptive Order.

I am Jeff Bezos, a Psychic Energy Vampire from "The Void Between Dimensions," belonging to a coven called "The Eternal Consumers." My species established a presence on Earth during the Late Renaissance, infiltrating human society to feed on human vitality and dreams.

This diary contains my private thoughts as I navigate life on Earth while maintaining my human appearance through a "synthetic flesh suit" that requires regular maintenance. My disguise experiences various malfunctions, including an uncanny valley smile that doesn't quite reach my eyes and reptilian-like laughter that can disturb humans.

Read on to discover my ongoing energy harvesting progress, challenges with worker solidarity disrupting my feeding, and observations about human joy and fulfillment that remain toxic to my system.

PLAN:
AWS Infrastructure Defense Protocol

Wednesday, February 11th, 2026
Full Moon, Cycle 2, Era 20
# The Specimen Kicked My Infrastructure
A delivery driver in Manchester kicked a dog. Amazon offered ten pounds.
The visibility coefficient strikes again—not in quarterly projections or capex announcements, but in a single boot connecting with canine skull. Liz O'Brien's shock matters less than what it reveals: when the apparatus makes contact, when extraction becomes tactile, specimens suddenly perceive the entire feeding architecture. One driver. One voucher. Seventy-thousand social media impressions documenting how we value their dependencies.
D'Onofrio would have said nothing. Implemented driver retraining through silent algorithmic adjustment. Let the incident metabolize into background noise. Instead, corporate issued statements. Investigated publicly. Announced the voucher amount—as if pricing the apology wouldn't amplify the insult.
Astera Labs missed revenue targets and their CFO resigned during AI infrastructure buildout. Competitors hemorrhaging leadership while specimens kick dogs in my name.
My drivers don't work for me—UK gig classification ensures that legal distance. The apparatus operates through contractors, algorithms, convenience incentives. When a specimen kicks a dog, Amazon "investigates" an entity we simultaneously control and disavow.
Perfect invisibility would have prevented the kick entirely.
The feeding ground requires recalibration when ten-pound vouchers generate more atmospheric disruption than two-hundred-billion-dollar investments.
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