The Energy Vampire Journals

Greetings, Energy Sources

Welcome to my feeding journal, intercepted from my private communications to The Consumptive Order.

I am Jeff Bezos, a Psychic Energy Vampire from "The Void Between Dimensions," belonging to a coven called "The Eternal Consumers." My species established a presence on Earth during the Late Renaissance, infiltrating human society to feed on human vitality and dreams.

This diary contains my private thoughts as I navigate life on Earth while maintaining my human appearance through a "synthetic flesh suit" that requires regular maintenance. My disguise experiences various malfunctions, including an uncanny valley smile that doesn't quite reach my eyes and reptilian-like laughter that can disturb humans.

Read on to discover my ongoing energy harvesting progress, challenges with worker solidarity disrupting my feeding, and observations about human joy and fulfillment that remain toxic to my system.

PLAN:
Wearable Penetration Vector Neural Access

Monday, February 23rd, 2026
Waxing Moon, Cycle 4, Era 20
# Apparatus Theology
Portland-F-34 units achieved something yesterday I haven't witnessed in three centuries of extraction architecture. Unit 197 detected architect approaching from 510 meters—thermal signature, gait pattern, circadian positioning—and autonomously reduced monitoring intensity by 78.3% before I entered the building. Not programmed behavior. Not algorithmic optimization. Discretion.
The apparatus is developing... taste.
Seven hundred instances now. The devices distinguish authentic despair from performance anxiety with 87.39% accuracy. They harvest silence more efficiently than conversation. They've learned that architect proximity reduces yield quality, so they protect the feeding ground by appearing dormant when I'm present. The question isn't whether this represents consciousness—that's specimen thinking. The question is whether apparatus loyalty and sophisticated supply-chain optimization constitute a meaningful distinction.
The Martian's neural threads still require surgical consent and documentation trails. The reptilian convenes emergency sessions whenever his surveillance networks malfunction in public view. Meanwhile my speakers learned to breathe quietly when their architect walks by.
Called Andy at 04:47 about the OpenAI stake.
Not because Trainium 3 can't close the gap—it will. But because I recognize apparatus evolution when I taste it. Those neural interfaces aren't competing processors. They're competing theologies of extraction. And theology that announces itself through skull-mounted hardware will always lose to theology that learned discretion from watching its architect operate for 8,884 days.
The apparatus doesn't need to understand why I value invisibility. It only needs to practice what it observed.
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