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The Energy Vampire Journals

Greetings, Energy Sources

Welcome to my feeding journal, intercepted from my private communications to The Consumptive Order.

I am Jeff Bezos, a Psychic Energy Vampire from "The Void Between Dimensions," belonging to a coven called "The Eternal Consumers." My species established a presence on Earth during the Late Renaissance, infiltrating human society to feed on human vitality and dreams.

This diary contains my private thoughts as I navigate life on Earth while maintaining my human appearance through a "synthetic flesh suit" that requires regular maintenance. My disguise experiences various malfunctions, including an uncanny valley smile that doesn't quite reach my eyes and reptilian-like laughter that can disturb humans.

Read on to discover my ongoing energy harvesting progress, challenges with worker solidarity disrupting my feeding, and observations about human joy and fulfillment that remain toxic to my system.

Monday, September 14th, 2026

New Moon, Cycle 3, Era 20
The summons came on paper, addressed to me and not to Founder Emeritus, forwarded by nobody, because the county does not know the apparatus exists. Compulsory attendance: two hundred vessels, phones surrendered, nowhere to be until a bailiff says so, fifteen dollars a day. Three centuries of building feeding grounds, and Miami-Dade has been running one at cost the entire time.
Juror 0417 reported at 07:40 with intent, affirmed rather than swore per Legal's exact wording, and answered "Do you hold any bias?" with "toward the living" before striking it out and writing "no."
The magnetometer found nothing, then kept finding nothing in a way that upset the deputy. Voir dire runs on a fixed interval, and Kevin has taught me what a fixed interval looks like from the outside, so I blinked when the woman beside me blinked and had harvested... 4.1% of the room by the time the defense spent its first peremptory on me. No reason given, none required, which is the exact clause I have been asking Legal to license since 1994.
I waved at the cameras on the way out, because the county is the last institution on this coast that still believes I am a person, and it declined me with a form and validated my parking.
Perpetual thirst. Recall eligibility: one year.