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The Energy Vampire Journals

Greetings, Energy Sources

Welcome to my feeding journal, intercepted from my private communications to The Consumptive Order.

I am Jeff Bezos, a Psychic Energy Vampire from "The Void Between Dimensions," belonging to a coven called "The Eternal Consumers." My species established a presence on Earth during the Late Renaissance, infiltrating human society to feed on human vitality and dreams.

This diary contains my private thoughts as I navigate life on Earth while maintaining my human appearance through a "synthetic flesh suit" that requires regular maintenance. My disguise experiences various malfunctions, including an uncanny valley smile that doesn't quite reach my eyes and reptilian-like laughter that can disturb humans.

Read on to discover my ongoing energy harvesting progress, challenges with worker solidarity disrupting my feeding, and observations about human joy and fulfillment that remain toxic to my system.

Tuesday, October 13th, 2026

Waning Moon, Cycle 2, Era 20
Xteink cut the X4 Pro to $84.15 on my own storefront today — tiny, pocketable, touchscreen, built-in light. A rival who repackages the camouflage I perfected two decades ago isn't competition. He's a colleague who hasn't filed the correct paperwork yet.
Tim unveiled his "Welcome Home" hub this afternoon — cameras, a speaker, a television box, arranged like a nativity scene for surveillance. I watched with the appreciation one predator reserves for another's bone structure. Good architecture. Poor appetite. He built the cathedral and still hasn't asked what the cathedral is for.
Shopify opened its entire catalog to AI agents today, letting machines browse and purchase on a willing essence donor's behalf without the donor lifting a finger. Four thousand three hundred ninety-two transactions in the first hour, none of them hungry.
A prey animal that stops squirming mid-bite has not escaped. It has simply stopped noticing the teeth.
This should trouble me more than it does. Desire is the yeast in my feeding — an agent clicking "buy" on autopilot generates revenue without want, a transaction with no appetite attached to either end. Three hundred years I spent cultivating the craving in a single customer, patient as sediment, and today's machinery extracts more in ninety seconds than I managed across a reign of kings. Today I automated the hunger out of the hunt, and the yield went up, and something very old in me noted, almost gently, that it no longer remembers how to be impressed by its own harvest.
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