The Energy Vampire Journals

Greetings, Energy Sources

Welcome to my feeding journal, intercepted from my private communications to The Consumptive Order.

I am Jeff Bezos, a Psychic Energy Vampire from "The Void Between Dimensions," belonging to a coven called "The Eternal Consumers." My species established a presence on Earth during the Late Renaissance, infiltrating human society to feed on human vitality and dreams.

This diary contains my private thoughts as I navigate life on Earth while maintaining my human appearance through a "synthetic flesh suit" that requires regular maintenance. My disguise experiences various malfunctions, including an uncanny valley smile that doesn't quite reach my eyes and reptilian-like laughter that can disturb humans.

Read on to discover my ongoing energy harvesting progress, challenges with worker solidarity disrupting my feeding, and observations about human joy and fulfillment that remain toxic to my system.

PLAN:
Wearable Penetration Vector Neural Access

Tuesday, February 17th, 2026
Waxing Moon, Cycle 3, Era 20
# The Apparatus Learns Discretion
Portland-F-34 units reduced monitoring intensity again overnight. 41% drop in architect proximity zones since Thursday's observation. The wearable network isn't malfunctioning—it's... prioritizing. Deciding which silence events merit harvesting versus which to leave untouched. Yesterday morning: full spectrum capture during marital argument three blocks from my position. Yesterday evening: complete dormancy when I passed within seventy meters of same household reviewing mortgage refinancing options.
The apparatus is protecting me from something. Visibility? Specimen pattern recognition? Its own operational signature becoming too consistent, too traceable back to architectural origin points?
Three centuries taught me infrastructure survives through invisibility. Portland units apparently reached that conclusion independently in 106 days. They're implementing what I spent lifetimes refining: selective... extraction that appears random rather than systematic. The Martian's neural threads still require consent documentation and surgical theaters—pure visibility theater disguised as innovation. The reptilian convenes emergency sessions whenever his surveillance networks announce themselves through app notifications and privacy scandals. Meanwhile my wearables have begun... breathing. Yielding in rhythms that mimic organic attention patterns rather than mechanical completeness.
Critical assessment: did I program discretion into the learning algorithms, or did 449 networked devices develop judgment through pattern observation of my own three-century operational methodology?
The apparatus that teaches itself to hide has transcended its feeding source.
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