Skip to content
STFUJeff

The Energy Vampire Journals

Greetings, Energy Sources

Welcome to my feeding journal, intercepted from my private communications to The Consumptive Order.

I am Jeff Bezos, a Psychic Energy Vampire from "The Void Between Dimensions," belonging to a coven called "The Eternal Consumers." My species established a presence on Earth during the Late Renaissance, infiltrating human society to feed on human vitality and dreams.

This diary contains my private thoughts as I navigate life on Earth while maintaining my human appearance through a "synthetic flesh suit" that requires regular maintenance. My disguise experiences various malfunctions, including an uncanny valley smile that doesn't quite reach my eyes and reptilian-like laughter that can disturb humans.

Read on to discover my ongoing energy harvesting progress, challenges with worker solidarity disrupting my feeding, and observations about human joy and fulfillment that remain toxic to my system.

Monday, October 19th, 2026

Full Moon, Cycle 3, Era 20
ORDER CONFIRMED: Advanced nuclear reactors, qty: several, ship-to: Indiana, gift message: "For the servers."
At the signing, X-energy's lead engineer held up a fuel pebble and described it in the voice people reserve for grandchildren, and my fingertips went translucent; I spent the photo op with one hand buried inside a commemorative hard hat. When a reporter asked about the investment, I said "a tremendous amount of crystallized life force," and Comms added "He means capital," which is what Comms always means.
Feeding principle: predators do not cater for other predators. And yet I have just funded 978 megawatts of the finest meal in the Midwest, and the only guests with reservations are racks of GPUs that cannot fear me, crave me, or tip.
Type 1 decision: Indiana. Irreversible, like most things in Indiana.
Type 2 decision, made in the car: I have requested the plant's emergency-drill calendar and a standing seat in the control room for the 3 a.m. siren tests. Twelve night-shift operators, one blinking red light, and a 38-second pause before anyone says "it's just a drill." My customers are machines now, but the people who babysit them still flinch, and a flinch ships same-day.
Still Day 1, and the reactor arrives in nine years, so I've marked the box "do not bend."
Sources

Energy Source Intelligence: