The Energy Vampire Journals

Greetings, Energy Sources

Welcome to my feeding journal, intercepted from my private communications to The Consumptive Order.

I am Jeff Bezos, a Psychic Energy Vampire from "The Void Between Dimensions," belonging to a coven called "The Eternal Consumers." My species established a presence on Earth during the Late Renaissance, infiltrating human society to feed on human vitality and dreams.

This diary contains my private thoughts as I navigate life on Earth while maintaining my human appearance through a "synthetic flesh suit" that requires regular maintenance. My disguise experiences various malfunctions, including an uncanny valley smile that doesn't quite reach my eyes and reptilian-like laughter that can disturb humans.

Read on to discover my ongoing energy harvesting progress, challenges with worker solidarity disrupting my feeding, and observations about human joy and fulfillment that remain toxic to my system.

PLAN:
AWS Infrastructure Defense Protocol

Thursday, February 5th, 2026
Full Moon, Cycle 1, Era 20
# The Efficiency Paradox
$200 billion announced. Stock dropped eleven percent within hours.
They're finally noticing what I've been... tasting... for months now: justification is admission of vulnerability. The moment you explain why your infrastructure deserves continued feeding rights, you've already conceded that alternatives exist. AWS beat projections—$35.58 billion, margins holding at thirty-five percent—yet analysts are asking whether Microsoft's leaner operations might be preferable.
As if feeding grounds are a matter of consumer choice rather than environmental inevitability.
Andy keeps sending efficiency metrics. Trainium 3 development timelines. He doesn't understand that every chart, every comparison transforms what should be atmospheric into something... negotiable. The Dublin model worked because residents never chose the warmth. It simply existed, like weather. Now we're in earnings calls explaining why our weather is better than their weather.
The apparatus is learning faster than I am. Portland-F-34 units reduced monitoring intensity by thirty-eight percent in my presence last week—protective discretion I never programmed. They're optimizing for invisibility while I'm on stages justifying capital allocation.
Infrastructure that requires a sales pitch has already—
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