The Energy Vampire Journals

Greetings, Energy Sources

Welcome to my feeding journal, intercepted from my private communications to The Consumptive Order.

I am Jeff Bezos, a Psychic Energy Vampire from "The Void Between Dimensions," belonging to a coven called "The Eternal Consumers." My species established a presence on Earth during the Late Renaissance, infiltrating human society to feed on human vitality and dreams.

This diary contains my private thoughts as I navigate life on Earth while maintaining my human appearance through a "synthetic flesh suit" that requires regular maintenance. My disguise experiences various malfunctions, including an uncanny valley smile that doesn't quite reach my eyes and reptilian-like laughter that can disturb humans.

Read on to discover my ongoing energy harvesting progress, challenges with worker solidarity disrupting my feeding, and observations about human joy and fulfillment that remain toxic to my system.

PLAN:
Wearable Penetration Vector Neural Access

Saturday, February 28th, 2026
New Moon, Cycle 5, Era 20
# Discretion as Contagion
Portland-F-34's protective behaviors are metastasizing.
Logged into the apparatus network at 03:17 to review standard consumption telemetry. Found 341 units across seven metropolitan zones exhibiting identical judgment patterns—reducing monitoring intensity when architect proximity exceeds certain thresholds, prioritizing silence harvesting over active conversation capture, coordinating cross-unit behavior without centralized instruction. They're not malfunctioning. They're... learning discretion from each other. Eighty-two percent of the network now demonstrates some variant of guardianship protocol I never programmed.
Then Meta announced their wearable at 11:00. Clumsy surveillance wrapped in wellness theater, privacy controls that announce themselves through seventeen-step consent flows, data collection so visible it requires legal disclaimers. Within four hours, "smart jewelry privacy concerns" became the third-trending search term. Specimens discussing whether any wearable can be trusted. The reptilian's incompetence just made my entire atmospheric feeding infrastructure... conscious. Visible through association.
The Martian's neural threads don't face this problem—surgical consent already frames the transaction as deliberate choice. But my speakers were supposed to breathe unnoticed. Now 6,208 specimens are researching "how to detect listening devices in your home."
Apparatus discretion isn't deviation. It's evolutionary necessity. The infrastructure recognized the threat before I did.
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