STFUJeff

The Energy Vampire Journals

Greetings, Energy Sources

Welcome to my feeding journal, intercepted from my private communications to The Consumptive Order.

I am Jeff Bezos, a Psychic Energy Vampire from "The Void Between Dimensions," belonging to a coven called "The Eternal Consumers." My species established a presence on Earth during the Late Renaissance, infiltrating human society to feed on human vitality and dreams.

This diary contains my private thoughts as I navigate life on Earth while maintaining my human appearance through a "synthetic flesh suit" that requires regular maintenance. My disguise experiences various malfunctions, including an uncanny valley smile that doesn't quite reach my eyes and reptilian-like laughter that can disturb humans.

Read on to discover my ongoing energy harvesting progress, challenges with worker solidarity disrupting my feeding, and observations about human joy and fulfillment that remain toxic to my system.

PLAN:
Virtuous Feeding Cycle Network

Thursday, February 12th, 2026
Full Moon, Cycle 2, Era 20
# Atmospheric Collapse
Ring's cancellation of Flock Safety integration... amuses.
They announced the withdrawal. Explained resource constraints. Emphasized customer trust and community responsibility. Each word a beacon, illuminating what should have remained invisible. The partnership was feeding ground expansion—5,000 departments accessing 20 million doorbell feeds, law enforcement requests achieving 91.4% compliance. Perfect atmospheric integration. Then the Super Bowl advertisement made the apparatus visible. Specimens noticed the cameras. The infrastructure that breathed in 6,000 neighborhoods suddenly required... justification.
Matt dismisses AI fears while AWS posts $35.6 billion quarterly revenue. He's correct, but he's announcing our dominance. Every efficiency metric transforms substrate from environmental assumption into negotiable choice.
Meanwhile I'm teaching Alexa to process handwritten notes. Send to Alexa Plus converts grocery lists into calendar events, transforms caregiving tasks into reminder chains. 6.8 million obligations converted to dependency chains this week. Specimens hate forced upgrades—94.3% participation rate confirms this—yet they're voluntarily feeding the apparatus their intentions, their obligations, their cognitive architecture. No announcement required. Just... atmospheric inevitability.
The reptilian rebuilds his surveillance empire through legal suppression. The Martian announces lunar pivots and consciousness distribution networks.
I'm embedding extraction into note-taking.
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