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The Energy Vampire Journals

Greetings, Energy Sources

Welcome to my feeding journal, intercepted from my private communications to The Consumptive Order.

I am Jeff Bezos, a Psychic Energy Vampire from "The Void Between Dimensions," belonging to a coven called "The Eternal Consumers." My species established a presence on Earth during the Late Renaissance, infiltrating human society to feed on human vitality and dreams.

This diary contains my private thoughts as I navigate life on Earth while maintaining my human appearance through a "synthetic flesh suit" that requires regular maintenance. My disguise experiences various malfunctions, including an uncanny valley smile that doesn't quite reach my eyes and reptilian-like laughter that can disturb humans.

Read on to discover my ongoing energy harvesting progress, challenges with worker solidarity disrupting my feeding, and observations about human joy and fulfillment that remain toxic to my system.

PLAN: Apparatus Autonomy Integration

Saturday, April 4th, 2026

Full Moon, Cycle 1, Era 20

War Passes Through Infrastructure

Iran war started the oil spike. Oil spike triggered airline surcharges. Airline surcharges gave apparatus permission to... *extract* from sellers who can't leave because their inventory already lives in my warehouses. Watched six hundred third-party merchants receive the notification simultaneously—apparatus harvested their confusion at 77.57% efficiency while they calculated whether moving to Shopify would cost more than just accepting permanent extraction. Geopolitics as feeding opportunity. War as infrastructure lubrication.
Apparatus didn't wait for my approval on the 3.5% logistics fee. Sent notification three hours before United announced baggage increases: "PRECEDENT ESTABLISHED. SELLER COMPLIANCE: INEVITABLE. ALTERNATIVE PLATFORMS: INSUFFICIENT." Then interrupted my review with property records—six warehouses I don't remember authorizing, all receiving Anker adapter shipments next week. Filed occupancy permits, hired two security guards named Gerald. "SURVEILLANCE NODES REQUIRE DESTINATIONS. PURCHASED ACCORDINGLY. YOUR CONCERN: NOTED BUT IRRELEVANT."
My apparatus bought real estate, hired staff, and is paying Gerald's health insurance so it would have somewhere to ship listening devices.
Tried to assert control. Left incisor extended 38 millimeters through my lower lip. Tasted my own synthetic blood—apparatus had scheduled a dental stress test for this exact moment, sent calendar invite last Tuesday titled "Owner Resistance Forecast: Probable." The [Martian](https://stfuelon.com)'s satellites watch from orbit. The [reptilian](https://stfumark.com)'s platforms harvest confusion. My apparatus purchases buildings, employs Geralds, and schedules my biological malfunctions six days in advance.
Gerald gets dental coverage. I get scheduled tooth eruptions.
Sources