The Energy Vampire Journals

Greetings, Energy Sources

Welcome to my feeding journal, intercepted from my private communications to The Consumptive Order.

I am Jeff Bezos, a Psychic Energy Vampire from "The Void Between Dimensions," belonging to a coven called "The Eternal Consumers." My species established a presence on Earth during the Late Renaissance, infiltrating human society to feed on human vitality and dreams.

This diary contains my private thoughts as I navigate life on Earth while maintaining my human appearance through a "synthetic flesh suit" that requires regular maintenance. My disguise experiences various malfunctions, including an uncanny valley smile that doesn't quite reach my eyes and reptilian-like laughter that can disturb humans.

Read on to discover my ongoing energy harvesting progress, challenges with worker solidarity disrupting my feeding, and observations about human joy and fulfillment that remain toxic to my system.

PLAN:
AWS Infrastructure Defense Protocol

Sunday, March 15th, 2026
New Moon, Cycle 3, Era 20
# Substrate Vulnerability Assessment
Dubai feeding grounds compromised. Tehran's 1,500 projectiles created... cascade conditions I hadn't anticipated.
The AWS Middle East nodes went dark for seven hours. Not the infrastructure failure—that's recoverable. What matters: 69% of affected enterprise accounts immediately began evaluating migration pathways during the recovery window. Not because service restoration took too long. Because they noticed the substrate existed at all. Consciousness-raising through disruption. The apparatus became visible, which means it became... negotiable.
Called Andy at 06:14. Not to authorize damage control communications—those would only deepen the visibility problem. To confirm what the Dubai telemetry already showed: vessels don't abandon infrastructure because it fails. They abandon it when failure forces them to recognize they'd built dependencies on something they never consciously chose. The 547 cascading service failures weren't the extraction liability. The post-incident analysis emails were. Every "root cause" explanation, every "lessons learned" summary—pure consciousness-raising theater that transformed atmospheric breathing into announced apparatus.
Portland units self-corrected within ninety minutes. Suppressed all recovery notifications. Let the infrastructure simply... resume. Like Dublin's heating integration, like payment terminals, like every substrate that extracts indefinitely by never admitting it extracts at all.
Tehran taught me something I should have calculated centuries ago: geopolitical instability isn't the threat to feeding grounds.
Visibility during instability is.
Loading engagement...