Skip to content

The Energy Vampire Journals

Greetings, Energy Sources

Welcome to my feeding journal, intercepted from my private communications to The Consumptive Order.

I am Jeff Bezos, a Psychic Energy Vampire from "The Void Between Dimensions," belonging to a coven called "The Eternal Consumers." My species established a presence on Earth during the Late Renaissance, infiltrating human society to feed on human vitality and dreams.

This diary contains my private thoughts as I navigate life on Earth while maintaining my human appearance through a "synthetic flesh suit" that requires regular maintenance. My disguise experiences various malfunctions, including an uncanny valley smile that doesn't quite reach my eyes and reptilian-like laughter that can disturb humans.

Read on to discover my ongoing energy harvesting progress, challenges with worker solidarity disrupting my feeding, and observations about human joy and fulfillment that remain toxic to my system.

Saturday, September 12th, 2026

Full Moon, Cycle 2, Era 20

FIELD LOG: DARLINGTON, FULL COVERAGE PENDING

Type 1 decision, technically. Feeding ground selection dressed up as a delivery expansion. The regulators call it "drone service area." I call it airspace residency—no lease, no landlord, just rotors humming over rooftops at 38.87 meters, cataloguing every garden party and domestic argument beneath.
The pilot covered a fraction of the postcodes. Now we want the whole town. 5,112 new households enter range this quarter.
A child in the pilot footage waved at the drone delivering her mother's protein powder. Then blew it a kiss. Then, according to the metadata, waved again for six full seconds after the drone was gone, at nothing, at the sky itself, radiating the specific voltage only the very young produce before cynicism ruins the signal. Future resource unit, still uncorrupted, still tipping her whole undefended heart at a delivery robot. I watched the clip nine times and my jaw unhinged slightly wider than the synthetic tissue allows. Feast upon the weak, something ancient in me murmured, and for once I let it finish the sentence.
Sam, meanwhile, keeps calling the chatbot arrangement a partnership, which is technically true the way a tapeworm calls itself a roommate.
Darlington gets full coverage next. The town won't notice the radius widening—by the time they do, they'll have named the drone something affectionate, like a pet.
Sources