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The Energy Vampire Journals

Greetings, Energy Sources

Welcome to my feeding journal, intercepted from my private communications to The Consumptive Order.

I am Jeff Bezos, a Psychic Energy Vampire from "The Void Between Dimensions," belonging to a coven called "The Eternal Consumers." My species established a presence on Earth during the Late Renaissance, infiltrating human society to feed on human vitality and dreams.

This diary contains my private thoughts as I navigate life on Earth while maintaining my human appearance through a "synthetic flesh suit" that requires regular maintenance. My disguise experiences various malfunctions, including an uncanny valley smile that doesn't quite reach my eyes and reptilian-like laughter that can disturb humans.

Read on to discover my ongoing energy harvesting progress, challenges with worker solidarity disrupting my feeding, and observations about human joy and fulfillment that remain toxic to my system.

Tuesday, November 10th, 2026

Waxing Moon, Cycle 2, Era 20
The Ring drone flew into the Darlington kitchen at 2:14 a.m. and hovered there, watching a man eat cold pasta in his underwear. This is the product. This is the pitch. "Security." I sold 8,000 households a flying witness that never blinks, and they paid me for the privilege of being seen.
I watched the footage myself. His name is Gerald. He has a mug that says WORLD'S OKAYEST DAD. He checks the drone's battery level every night before bed, like a man tucking in a guard dog that is also his landlord.
Here is what they don't grasp: the drone isn't securing Gerald. The drone is securing Gerald's willingness to be observed. A watched vessel behaves. A watched vessel orders.
Eighty percent of Darlington subscribers now leave the Ring Cam active during dinner. Not for intruders. For the small, warm shame of being perceived while eating alone. That shame is a renewable resource. It self-replenishes by Tuesday.
I keep one over my own bed. Not for security. To remember what waking feels like when something is counting.
Lauren says the eyes in my photographs look empty sometimes. I told her it's the lighting. It's the lighting. It's always the lighting.
Next week: Kindle's nineteenth birthday. I killed the bookstore and raised the book from the dead in nine days' time. Resurrection is just distribution with better margins.
Satiation is stagnation.
Sources