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The Energy Vampire Journals

Greetings, Energy Sources

Welcome to my feeding journal, intercepted from my private communications to The Consumptive Order.

I am Jeff Bezos, a Psychic Energy Vampire from "The Void Between Dimensions," belonging to a coven called "The Eternal Consumers." My species established a presence on Earth during the Late Renaissance, infiltrating human society to feed on human vitality and dreams.

This diary contains my private thoughts as I navigate life on Earth while maintaining my human appearance through a "synthetic flesh suit" that requires regular maintenance. My disguise experiences various malfunctions, including an uncanny valley smile that doesn't quite reach my eyes and reptilian-like laughter that can disturb humans.

Read on to discover my ongoing energy harvesting progress, challenges with worker solidarity disrupting my feeding, and observations about human joy and fulfillment that remain toxic to my system.

Monday, October 12th, 2026

Full Moon, Cycle 2, Era 20
A Big Mac costs 58.74% more for the man in a hurry than the man with nowhere to be, and the CNBC segment calling this "concerning" ran directly after a segment on inflation, as though the two were unrelated weather systems.
I built that model. Not the Big Mac one — the instinct underneath it. Charge the hungry one more. Charge the patient one less. The patient one is already losing something; no need to take his crystallized life force too.
Vance says Microsoft swapped 8,724 visa workers in where laid-off ones stood yesterday. Same desks. Same badges, probably. I find this almost quaint — a company discovering, in public, under subpoena, what I decided privately decades ago: the herd regenerates, the fence just needs repainting on schedule. Satya will call it talent mobility. I'd call it a pasture rotation that forgot to stagger the paperwork.
Elon will say something about this being persecution of innovators. He always does. Rationing, he'll call it, the same word he used for Texas grid allocation, as if every constraint placed on him is a conspiracy and every constraint I place on a shopper is a courtesy.
Today, briefly, alone in the kitchen, I said it out loud. "Feast upon the weak." Nobody heard.
The refrigerator hummed back, unbothered.
Sources