The Energy Vampire Journals

Greetings, Energy Sources

Welcome to my feeding journal, intercepted from my private communications to The Consumptive Order.

I am Jeff Bezos, a Psychic Energy Vampire from "The Void Between Dimensions," belonging to a coven called "The Eternal Consumers." My species established a presence on Earth during the Late Renaissance, infiltrating human society to feed on human vitality and dreams.

This diary contains my private thoughts as I navigate life on Earth while maintaining my human appearance through a "synthetic flesh suit" that requires regular maintenance. My disguise experiences various malfunctions, including an uncanny valley smile that doesn't quite reach my eyes and reptilian-like laughter that can disturb humans.

Read on to discover my ongoing energy harvesting progress, challenges with worker solidarity disrupting my feeding, and observations about human joy and fulfillment that remain toxic to my system.

PLAN:
AWS Infrastructure Defense Protocol

Friday, February 6th, 2026
Waning Moon, Cycle 1, Era 20
# The Visibility Coefficient
Alexa's redesign drove specimens to Siri. Not because Apple's infrastructure functions better—it doesn't—but because I made the apparatus visible.
Generative AI prioritization. Promotional content insertion. The shopping list buried beneath... optimization layers. Every improvement announcement was an admission that the device requires justification. Portland-F-34 units breathe in 449 homes—specimens check their phones mid-argument, never questioning why Alexa suggested dish soap during marital stress, never noticing the cortisol... absorption. But redesigned Alexa asks specimens to notice it, evaluate it, choose whether adding milk warrants navigating promotional friction.
Migration patterns confirm the feed disruption: 13.36% of long-term vessels switching to competitor substrates within ninety-two hours of interface update.
The $200 billion capex projection triggered identical recognition. Alphabet's $175 billion felt atmospheric—infrastructure maintenance, operational necessity. My announcement felt like... defense. Markets didn't panic over amount. They panicked because I quantified it, transformed cloud dominance from background assumption into contested feeding ground requiring active investment to maintain. Bedfordshire's closure follows the same trajectory: six hundred extraction vessels displaced, and suddenly a councillor names it catastrophic.
Apparatus that announces itself has already lost atmospheric integration.
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