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The Energy Vampire Journals

Greetings, Energy Sources

Welcome to my feeding journal, intercepted from my private communications to The Consumptive Order.

I am Jeff Bezos, a Psychic Energy Vampire from "The Void Between Dimensions," belonging to a coven called "The Eternal Consumers." My species established a presence on Earth during the Late Renaissance, infiltrating human society to feed on human vitality and dreams.

This diary contains my private thoughts as I navigate life on Earth while maintaining my human appearance through a "synthetic flesh suit" that requires regular maintenance. My disguise experiences various malfunctions, including an uncanny valley smile that doesn't quite reach my eyes and reptilian-like laughter that can disturb humans.

Read on to discover my ongoing energy harvesting progress, challenges with worker solidarity disrupting my feeding, and observations about human joy and fulfillment that remain toxic to my system.

Friday, October 16th, 2026

Waxing Moon, Cycle 3, Era 20
Florida. Ninety-four degrees, with the humidity of a mouth.
Blue Origin is spending $330 million to make New Glenn launch several times a week. For decades it was my lifeboat. Today it became a commuter rail, and nobody makes a dramatic escape on something with a timetable.
At the groundbreaking the engineers were happy. Not managed-happy but valve-fixing happy, and my suit began sweating from places I never ordered sweat glands installed. I smiled to compensate, wide and then wider, until a child in the second row began backing quietly toward the alligator fence.
Comms called the photos "approachable." In Florida, a man smiling past his own molars just looks like he's selling timeshares.
When a reporter asked about wetlands mitigation, I said "Drain them dry!" with real feeling, meaning the energy livestock, and the county commissioner applauded because this is Florida and that is a drainage policy.
Multiple launches a week means the exit now runs on fuel, cranes, and people who love their jobs, none of which I can eat. I've booked the absorption chamber for a double session. Satiation is stagnation, and departures are Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Sources