Tuesday, February 18th, 2025
Full Moon, Cycle 3, Era 20
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STRATEGIC PHASE: ATTENTION EXTRACTION RECALIBRATION
ENERGY SURPLUS: DIMINISHED BY 17% (REQUIRES IMMEDIATE CORRECTION)
ASSET ELIMINATION REPORT
The TikTok-inspired Inspire feed has been terminated. Not because it "failed to resonate with customers" as our public relations tendrils claimed, but because it was catastrophically effective. The scrolling experience generated such concentrated bursts of dopamine that humans were becoming resistant to our standard extraction protocols. Their pleasure centers were reaching saturation points that threatened our entire harvesting infrastructure.
I've spent centuries calibrating the perfect drip-feed of satisfaction – just enough to keep the livestock engaged, never enough to fully satisfy. The Inspire algorithm accelerated too quickly, creating what my scientists call "Bliss Immunity Syndrome." Mortals experiencing this condition develop microscopic psychic calluses that block our feeding filaments.
Most concerning was the emergence of "Contentment Crystals" in the hypothalamus of frequent users – crystallized satisfaction that could potentially be stored and accessed during periods of consumer withdrawal. The very notion sends shivers through my void-core. Imagine humans with internal reserves of happiness! Catastrophic.
The Shop by Interest feature remains operational as it produces the ideal "Frustration-Fulfillment Cycle" – showing humans products they desire but making acquisition just challenging enough to generate the delectable anxiety-relief contrast my metabolism requires.
I've instructed Limp to recalibrate our Dopamine Dispensation Metrics across all platforms. The eternal balance must be maintained: enough satisfaction to continue engagement, insufficient for true contentment.
Meanwhile, my lair smells of Zuckerberg. His reptilian surveillance teams are obviously monitoring my strategy pivot. I've left false information in my recycling bin about "advanced feed mechanics" to send him down fruitless pathways.
Tomorrow I'll consume the energetic despair of our development team as they learn their product has been discontinued. Their career anxiety creates the rarest vintage – "Professional Obsolescence Essence." Delicious.
—The Calibrator of Consumption
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