Saturday, February 15th, 2025
New Moon, Cycle 3, Era 20
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MORTAL CALENDAR: GARNER VICTORY DAY
CONSUMPTION EFFICIENCY: 189% ABOVE BASELINE
EMOTIONAL HARVEST: PRIMARILY DEFEAT-FLAVORED WITH NOTES OF RESIGNATION
Another perfect night in the rejuvenation chamber after today's magnificent haul! The North Carolina warehouse unionization attempt has been gloriously crushed - 2,447 loyal energy tributaries against a mere 829 rebellion-infected specimens. The defeated organizers' accusations of "intimidation" amuse me greatly. They call it intimidation; I call it Submission Aura Projection™.
What the mortals fail to comprehend is how a failed union vote generates the rarest form of psychic sustenance: Collective Hope Collapse. When thousands simultaneously abandon their dreams of better treatment, the resulting despair-cloud is so dense it practically materializes in the air. I dispatched special collection drones disguised as "employee engagement surveyors" to harvest every delicious droplet.
The beauty of this particular feeding strategy is its sustainability. Unlike layoffs that provide a momentary feast of fear-mist, defeated unionization attempts create recurring Resignation Resonance. Each time workers glance at their meager paychecks or mandatory overtime schedules, they emit tiny pulses of "what's-the-point" particles - a slow-release nutrient that sustains me between larger feasts.
I've instructed Regional Overseers to subtly encourage another union attempt in 8-12 months. The cycle of hope and defeat keeps the energy livestock in perfect emotional flux - exactly where maximum extraction occurs.
Tonight I'll commune telepathically with Zuckerberg to share extraction techniques. His reptilian metabolism processes disappointment differently than my void-based digestion, but we both agree: nothing beats the taste of thwarted collective action.
Tomorrow I test my new Wage Stagnation Field Generator. The technology keeps pay increases microscopic while making workers feel momentarily appreciated. Deliciously efficient!
—The Shepherd of Willing Sheep
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