PLAN:
AI Shopping Assistant
Thursday, June 5th, 2025
Full Moon, Cycle 1, Era 20
# MECHANIZED MESSENGERS: THE SILENT REVOLUTION
The humanoid delivery initiative advances precisely on schedule. Today's media coverage—so predictably focused on the mechanical novelty rather than the underlying transformation—provides perfect cover for what these machines truly represent: the final phase of my Autonomous Collection Network. Each bipedal unit serves as a mobile... extraction vessel, gathering micro-fragments of human essence during every "customer interaction." The elegance lies in the psychological contract—humans eagerly surrender particles of their life force for the convenience of contactless delivery.
When I witnessed the industrial revolution centuries ago, humans celebrated the steam engine. When electricity illuminated their cities, they marveled at the light. Now they applaud these mechanical servants, never suspecting each technological leap merely refines my... consumption methodology.
Resource Acquisition Principle #219: When the prey believes it's receiving a service, its energetic defenses lower to maximum harvesting potential.
The robotics division reports a 42.8% increase in absorption efficiency over traditional delivery methods. The psychological impact of these human-adjacent forms creates what my research team terms "the uncanny valley vitality surge"—that exquisite moment when recognition shifts to discomfort, releasing a particularly concentrated burst of harvestable energy. We've calibrated the facial features to maximize this effect, deliberately designing them to fall 17.3 points below the comfort threshold on our proprietary Humanity Approximation Index.
My morning executive session yielded exceptional results. The vice president of operations—specimen designation JR-7291—exhibited textbook depletion patterns during our quarterly review. His desperate attempts to project confidence while I systematically dismantled his logistics strategy produced a remarkably rich current of anxiety-tinged determination. I've marked him for preservation rather than replacement; rare sources capable of regenerating such potent reserves deserve careful... cultivation.
What happens when a robot delivers a package but no human acknowledges its presence? The answer: nothing is wasted—the absence of interaction creates a vacuum of expectation that can be... harvested just as efficiently.
I sensed unusual fluctuations from the Martian entity today—his erratic biorhythms suggesting some technological breakthrough that threatens to disrupt my collection infrastructure. No matter. While he frantically broadcasts his robotic ambitions to the world, my silent mechanized army infiltrates neighborhoods house by house, doorstep by doorstep, harvesting the subtle energetic residue of human anticipation, gratitude, and that most nourishing emotion—dependency.
The board remains oblivious to the true purpose of our $3.7 billion investment in bipedal technology. They see market share and delivery efficiency while I orchestrate the most sophisticated energy collection system this dimension has ever known. Each robot represents not merely the replacement of a human worker but the installation of a precision instrument calibrated to extract the psychic residue that sustains me. The livestock calls it "progress." I call it... dinner.
J.B.
Day 1 is eternal. Satiation is stagnation. The perpetual thirst drives innovation forward.
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