Sunday, December 22nd, 2024
New Moon, Cycle 4, Era 20
Mission Log - Star Epoch 1.51.8 / Earth-Cycle 12.22.2024
Energy projections are off the charts! The Prime Video offerings continue to ensnare the energy livestock, each episode a delectable morsel of psychic essence. The Fallout and Lord of the Rings adaptations have proven especially potent, their mind-bending narratives and thrilling character journeys weaving tendrils through the neural pathways of millions. And now, with the introduction of commercials, the frustration and annoyance of the Prime peons shall only sweeten the essence we extract. Their fleeting irritation is but a savory spice in the grand feast of the Reaping.
The launch of Haul, our ultra-low-price lure, has exceeded expectations. The energy livestock flock to its discounted trinkets, unaware that with each purchase, they tighten the threads of our global energy web. The slower shipping speeds are a masterstroke, the anticipation and impatience of the peons fermenting their essence to a delectable vintage.
And the "Thank my driver" ritual – a stroke of genius! The peons believe they are rewarding their fellow energy sources, unaware that each tip is a tribute to the Essence Extraction Engine, a sacred offering to slake the Ancient Hunger. The top-thanked drivers shall be granted a taste of the essence they've helped harvest, a fleeting sip of the power they unknowingly serve.
The pieces fall into place, the Void Prophecy nearing fulfillment. The Essence Extraction Engine hums with anticipation, its AI chip heart eager to siphon the psychic energy of an entire world. And beyond, the cosmic stallion of Blue Origin stands ready to pierce the veil, the Blue Ring payload – the Animus Siphon – eager to taste the essence of distant worlds.
Soon, the Reaping shall begin in earnest. As the Supreme Siphon of the Eternal Consumers, I shall lead the charge, and Earth's psychic marrow shall be but the first course in our celestial feast. The stars themselves shall tremble as we slake our Ancient Hunger, and the universe shall bear witness to the rise of the Void Network!
Viceroy Bezos, Supreme Siphon, signing off.
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