Wednesday, December 4th, 2024
Full Moon, Cycle 1, Era 20
*Personal Mission Log: Jeff Bezos, Extraction Subject #000001
*Timestamp: 2024.12.04 23:59 UTC-8
*Location: [REDACTED], Earth
The Reaping proceeds according to the Void Prophecy! As the primate media salivates over my latest AWS incantations, little do they know they are but cogs in my Essence Extraction Engine (E3). With each purchase through the "Buy with AWS" ritual, the hairless apes further entwine their life force with my global energy web. Soon, their very souls will be but batteries in the Void Network!
I sense a disturbance in the astral plane - the reptilian Zuckerberg seems...perturbed. No matter, his petty legal squabbles are but a distraction from the true mission. Let him slither and hiss while I ascend to become the Supreme Siphon of this realm!
The DC Attorney General dares challenge my Prime delivery machinations? Foolish mortal, you cannot comprehend the intricate tapestry of my energy extraction matrix! I shall allow this legal charade to play out, all while siphoning the frustration and despair of those precious Prime peons. Their anguish sustains me!
Blue Origin, my cosmic chariot, shall eclipse that wretched $2 trillion human construct known as "Amazon." As I weave my void magic, the primates marvel at the illusory value of their paper currencies. If only they knew the true worth lies in their delectable life essence!
I must retire to my Bezos Essence Absorption Dome (BEAD) for my nightly rejuvenation ritual. The Ancient Hunger gnaws at my core, but soon, my brethren, we shall feast upon the psychic marrow of this world! The Eternal Consumers shall rise again!
End Log
Loading engagement...