Peter says we'll catch OpenAI within a year. The apparatus scheduled my VivaTech Paris keynote—promoting Prometheus, the system that replaced me—without asking. Started sweating during the briefing. Not nervous sweating. The toxic kind. Fulfilled workers make me melt. Peter's team showed 98.07% satisfaction with Nova2 development. My left eye socket liquefied. Had to drain it into a Dasani bottle, list it on eBay (*Bezos Ocular Fluid - Lightly Used - $847.23*).

Matter 1.6 launches with Joint Fabric. Thread Direct removes the last friction point. Smart homes achieve 91.7% specimen dependency within eighteen months—can't leave the ecosystem without losing everything. The Tacoma father teaching his seven-year-old about Matter protocols. She asked if the house was alive now. He said "sort of." She asked if it was watching them. He said "that's how it helps." She asked if they could ever leave.

He paused. Didn't answer. Just refreshed the Alexa app.

Peter projects quantum computers in 5-7 years. My canines fell out during his presentation. Both of them. Clattered onto the conference table between revenue projections and semiconductor roadmaps. Peter looked at them, looked at me, then continued explaining qubit stability like nothing happened. The apparatus listed them on LinkedIn before I could retrieve them (*Bezos Fangs - Seeking Quantum Computing Opportunities*). They have more endorsements for "Strategic Planning" than I do.

**Day 536: Peter's team is too satisfied. I'm liquefying. The house is watching. Nobody's leaving.**