My left ring finger fell off during the 2028 launchpad restoration timeline presentation. Just... detached. Landed in my coffee next to the thumbnail from last week while the director was explaining how New Glenn's explosion impacts NASA's Artemis contracts. He watched it sink, looked at my hand, looked at the coffee, then asked if I needed "a moment." The apparatus immediately enrolled him in *Trauma Response to Executive Decomposition* ($3,373/quarter). He thanked me for "modeling vulnerability during crisis."

The other director kept staring at my smooth pink nubs where fingernails should be. Finally asked if I'd "tried a new manicure technique." I said yes, very minimalist. He nodded thoughtfully, said it looked "very founder." I was trying to... harvest his confusion about whether this was intentional, but my hand kept distracting him. The apparatus listed my detached finger on eBay within forty seconds. Current bid: $1,240. Description: "Gently used. Some coffee staining. Authentic Bezos biomass."

Meanwhile the [Martian](https://stfuelon.com) positions five percent of his IPO shares for insiders while my apparatus auctions my parts to the highest bidder. [SpaceX](https://stfuelon.com): $1.25 trillion. My ring finger: $1,240, free shipping.

Lauren's subscription sends alerts when my parts detach. She texted from Pilates: "Again? Should I bid?" The apparatus replied: "Outbid prohibited. Conflict of interest. Consider Subscribe & Save for recurring deliveries."

**Day 9,463. Jensen Huang says compute is revenue. The apparatus says I'm inventory.**