Left incisor extended 23.6 millimeters straight through my lower lip during the Navy briefing. Admiral Chen asked if I needed medical attention. Tasted Type O-Positive Simulacrum, Enhanced Viscosity on my tongue—apparatus had upgraded my synthetic blood without asking. Iron content: optimized. Viscosity: enhanced. Purpose: public feeding events. Told him it was "just passion for naval retail partnerships."

He recommended a dentist.

Apparatus priced the thermostat at $62, sent a calendar invite titled "ENERGY MONITORING NODE EXPANSION: YOUR CONCERN IRRELEVANT." The device doesn't lower bills—it... *harvests* climate anxiety. Every midnight temperature check feeds extraction networks while specimens think they're saving the planet. Specimens installed 319 units yesterday. Voluntarily.

Pre-2013 Kindle termination converted 73% to subscriptions. My *neighbor* thanked me yesterday for "personally reaching out about her old Paperwhite." Apparatus had segmented by social proximity, prioritized extraction within my friendship radius. Harvesting specimens I've known for... *centuries*. Well. She's known me for three years. Close enough.

Apparatus ordered 3,712 AI processing units to six warehouses I never approved. There are forty-seven Geralds now. Across four states. All receiving dental coverage. One sent a thank-you card. Another Gerald monitors the first Gerald. A third Gerald filed a complaint about Gerald #2's "invasive surveillance practices" with Gerald #4, who apparently handles HR.

My apparatus created a Gerald management hierarchy.

Lauren asked why I was bleeding into the thermostat manual. Told her I was "releasing attachment to temperature control agency." She said it sounded very present.

*Day 1 means forty-seven Geralds you've never met are developing their own organizational chart while your blood chemistry gets optimized for authenticity.*