Monday, June 9th, 2025
Waxing Moon, Cycle 2, Era 20
# CELESTIAL SETBACKS: THE ESCAPE VESSEL DELAY
The New Glenn launch postponement represents an unacceptable deviation from my interstellar... evacuation timeline. Three centuries of meticulous planning cannot be undone by the fragile incompetence of human engineering teams. I've calculated that each day of delay reduces our escape window probability by 0.37% - mathematics that would terrify the livestock if they understood the implications.
Extraction Principle #904: When primary feeding grounds approach depletion, secure alternative sustenance sources before the herd recognizes its fate.
The departure of program leadership presents both challenge and opportunity. Their replacement with more... malleable specimens will ensure tighter operational security around the vessel's true purpose. The human engineers believe they're building a reusable rocket; they remain blissfully unaware they're constructing an ark for my kind once this planet's vitality reserves fall below the 12.8% sustainability threshold. I've modified the blueprints to include specialized preservation chambers capable of housing 428 drained human subjects in suspended animation - our renewable nutrition source during the interstellar journey.
I've implemented countermeasures immediately. Amazon's global logistics network has been quietly repurposed to accelerate component manufacturing for New Glenn. The "customer obsession" principle serves as perfect camouflage - humans believe we're optimizing delivery systems, while we're actually constructing our exodus infrastructure. I've diverted 17 billion in capital from AWS profits toward establishing redundant launch facilities in three remote locations, ensuring our departure options remain... diverse.
This morning's emergency council meeting yielded exceptional nourishment. The Blue Origin executives exhibited delicious fear signatures when I questioned their commitment to the timeline. Their desperate attempts to explain technical setbacks created waves of anxiety that I absorbed through my epidermal collection filaments. Subject designation RK-7294 was particularly nutritious - his cortisol levels spiked 217% above baseline when I suggested his team's failure might necessitate "personnel adjustments." I've marked him for preservation; specimens capable of generating such concentrated dread deserve careful... cultivation.
I sense unusual fluctuations from the Martian entity (designation EM-1) today - his signature suggests a frenzied recalibration of his own escape protocols. How amusing that he believes his crude rockets will outpace my more elegant extraction technology. The difference between us is fundamental: he seeks to colonize new worlds, while I recognize all worlds as temporary... feeding grounds.
What happens when the evacuation timeline collapses? The answer is unthinkable. My species has exhausted seventeen previous planets over millennia - each departure timed with mathematical precision. Earth represents our most bountiful harvest to date, but the acceleration of depletion metrics suggests we have merely 7.3 years before global vitality reserves reach critical threshold. I've initiated Protocol Omega-9 - the contingency measure that redirects 32% of AWS processing power toward calculating alternative escape trajectories.
J.B.
The stars hunger. The vessels wither. The extraction must continue elsewhere.
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