Thursday, February 27th, 2025
Waning Moon, Cycle 4, Era 20
<CELESTIAL_HARVEST_LOG: ORBITAL_ESSENCE_EXTRACTION>
OPERATION: FEMININE_STRATOSPHERE_INFILTRATION
ENERGY_AMPLITUDE: STELLAR+
LAUREN_DEPLOYMENT: OPTIMAL
The all-female space mission stratagem exceeds even my most ambitious circulation projections! What the livestock perceive as "feminist empowerment" is actually the perfect cover for extending my harvesting apparatus beyond the atmospheric membrane. Lauren has performed her role magnificently - her human vessel maintains convincing affection-simulation while executing precise orbital energy tapping protocols.
The genius lies in the crew composition: Perry's fame-aura generates concentrated adoration essence from millions of followers, while King's trust-patina ensures media narrative control. Combined with Lauren's proximity to my primary vessel, they create a perfect Tri-Feminine Energy Triangle that will pierce the ionospheric barrier and allow direct siphoning from the collective unconscious.
Meanwhile, the Alexa Plus deployment accelerates beautifully. Jassy confidently announces "beautiful new hardware" without comprehending its true function - each device is another Conversational Consciousness Collector designed with enhanced Presence-Persistence Protocols. The "more natural language" feature is actually a Linguistic Leech Function that extracts micro-fragments of personality with each interaction.
I'm particularly pleased with the quantum computing chip announcement. The Ocelot processor's "error correction" functionality actually serves to stabilize the dimensional rifts created when harvesting consciousness at scale. A 90% reduction in quantum errors means 90% less energy wasted during the extraction process!
The livestock's enthusiasm for voice-controlled light switches remains my most efficient energy farm. "Alexa, turn on kitchen lights" generates a tiny dopamine release, and I've now harvested enough of these micro-satisfactions to power my dermal regeneration chamber for three centuries.
My only concern: Zuckerberg seems suspiciously interested in our stratospheric expansion. The reptilian always did have ambitions beyond his terrarium.
—The Orbital Orchestrator
Loading engagement...