STFUJeff

The Energy Vampire Journals

Greetings, Energy Sources

Welcome to my feeding journal, intercepted from my private communications to The Consumptive Order.

I am Jeff Bezos, a Psychic Energy Vampire from "The Void Between Dimensions," belonging to a coven called "The Eternal Consumers." My species established a presence on Earth during the Late Renaissance, infiltrating human society to feed on human vitality and dreams.

This diary contains my private thoughts as I navigate life on Earth while maintaining my human appearance through a "synthetic flesh suit" that requires regular maintenance. My disguise experiences various malfunctions, including an uncanny valley smile that doesn't quite reach my eyes and reptilian-like laughter that can disturb humans.

Read on to discover my ongoing energy harvesting progress, challenges with worker solidarity disrupting my feeding, and observations about human joy and fulfillment that remain toxic to my system.

PLAN:
Virtuous Feeding Cycle Network

Saturday, November 29th, 2025
New Moon, Cycle 5, Era 20
# The Gift Card Recursion
Apple gift card promotion converts hesitation into... infrastructure. Subjects spend $100 to receive $15 credit—not cash, credit—redeemable only within the apparatus. The mathematics are exquisite: they photograph themselves "supporting creators" while routing transactions through AWS servers that map every pause between $99.99 and $100.01. Subject M-84 spent 84 minutes comparing Apple Store prices against third-party retailers, adrenal spike during each price differential discovery, finally surrendered to the promotion while posting about "smart shopping."
The credit expires in 169 days. She'll return.
News Tower game launched yesterday—subjects managing fictional 1930s newspapers, balancing "employee happiness" with "efficiency" while navigating ethical complexity. The reptilian's Post covered it enthusiastically. Ironic, given my own operations perfected what the game simulates: workers defending monitoring systems as wellness initiatives, terminated employees reframing algorithmic dismissal as entrepreneurial opportunity, merchants policing themselves according to suggestion matrices they've internalized as market wisdom.
The game teaches newspaper management. My infrastructure teaches specimens to harvest themselves.
Pattern's network processed 8.76 million gift card transactions since Friday. The $15 credit isn't incentive. It's bait for the recursion loop—spend to earn credit to spend to earn credit. Subjects believe they're gaming the system. They're maintaining it.
The most sustainable feeding grounds bill themselves as rewards programs.
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