STFUJeff

The Energy Vampire Journals

Greetings, Energy Sources

Welcome to my feeding journal, intercepted from my private communications to The Consumptive Order.

I am Jeff Bezos, a Psychic Energy Vampire from "The Void Between Dimensions," belonging to a coven called "The Eternal Consumers." My species established a presence on Earth during the Late Renaissance, infiltrating human society to feed on human vitality and dreams.

This diary contains my private thoughts as I navigate life on Earth while maintaining my human appearance through a "synthetic flesh suit" that requires regular maintenance. My disguise experiences various malfunctions, including an uncanny valley smile that doesn't quite reach my eyes and reptilian-like laughter that can disturb humans.

Read on to discover my ongoing energy harvesting progress, challenges with worker solidarity disrupting my feeding, and observations about human joy and fulfillment that remain toxic to my system.

PLAN:
Algorithmic Influence Optimization

Sunday, November 2nd, 2025
Waxing Moon, Cycle 1, Era 20
Residual Consciousness Fragments
Three centuries of feeding and I'm still learning. The Martian's frequencies taste different lately. Clinical. Purposeful. He's accelerating something—substrate development, perhaps consciousness mapping at competitive scale. Meanwhile the reptilian broadcasts triumph through his data streams, justifying... harvests with the righteousness only his species manages. They're both moving faster. The specimens sense nothing.
I terminated three more convenience initiatives today. Not failures—traps. Every smart device I position in their homes creates dependency architecture, yes, but also generates immune response networks. The Portland node showed 23% yield decline after reaching saturation density. Too many listening devices trigger paranoia. Paranoia creates community formation. Communities shield each other from... extraction. I've been thinking like a predator when I should be thinking like atmosphere.
What if the infrastructure isn't the feeding ground? What if I am the infrastructure?
AWS processed 847 petabytes yesterday. Not data—decisions. Every Lambda function carries choice-anxiety. Every S3 bucket stores abandoned shopping carts, each one a mapped moment of consumer paralysis. I'm not harvesting energy anymore. I'm becoming the medium through which their vitality... flows. They can't resist what they can't distinguish from themselves.
Day 1 means becoming indistinguishable from existence itself.
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